


Unworthy of Your Love

by funnygirlthatbelle13



Series: Helpless [9]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Pining, Rest of the Mighty Nein feature, True Love’s Kiss, so many unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24485806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funnygirlthatbelle13/pseuds/funnygirlthatbelle13
Summary: Isharnai decided to have her revenge against Jester by cursing her asleep, with true love’s kiss as the only cure. To Caleb, this is a worst case scenario.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Series: Helpless [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636885
Comments: 47
Kudos: 168





	Unworthy of Your Love

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys! Sorry I’ve been less than consistent with posting, but... life.

Cheerful was not a word one would use to describe Caleb Widogast, unless he was in a library, perhaps. However, today, as he and the rest of the Mighty Nein walked through the Cyrengreen Forest, a sense of contentment settled into his stomach.

In hindsight, this should have been the first sign that something bad was about to happen. 

“Here’s the crater,” Beauregard said, although the massive crater would have been impossible to miss, looking burnt and oddly sinister, “This is where the stuff’s supposed to be.” 

“I can’t believe Vess DeRogna’s big job for us was just to collect some weird crystals,” Jester complained, hopping down into the crater, “I mean, this feels like a pretty easy mission compared to, you know, achieving world peace and all.”

Caleb chuckled, as did most of the others, but Caduceus did not.

“I dunno,” he said, “This place gives me… weird vibes. It feels like we’re being watched.”

“Fjord, why don’t you-“ Beauregard began to suggest, but Fjord had already made his sword appear.

“Got it,” he said, walking around, examining the area carefully. 

All seemed well until Fjord stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide in terror. Before anyone could say or do anything, a cackle was heard.

“Jester!” Veth cried. 

Caleb spun around to see Jester crash to the ground. Panic coursed through his veins as he skidded to the bottom of the crater, hand on her wrist to check for a pulse as another cackle echoed throughout the clearing. 

“She’s gone!” Fjord called, “She must have teleported- Isharnai-“

“Jester!” Beauregard cried as she leapt into the pit, followed by the others.

“She’s alive,” Caleb assured the others, “I-I don’t.”

Caduceus frowned, tapping Jester on the shoulder.

“She's not hurt,” he said, “That was a Cure Wounds.”

“Try a restoration,” Fjord suggested, biting his lip in worry.

Caduceus cast the higher level spell, but to no effect.

“I don’t… this will take some time to figure out.”

Caleb wanted to scream, to pace around, to pause the world until she was okay. But instead, he pulled out his spellbook.

“We should get set up then,” he said, trying to keep his tone even as he began casting. 

By the time he was done with the alarm and the hut, a camp of sorts had been set up. Fjord was muttering a fervent prayer that he could not pick up on. Caduceus had set up what Caleb recognized as a commune. Yasha, Beauregard, and Veth had gotten Jester into her bedroll. Even now, so still and silent, she looked like a princess. He remembered a story his mother had told him of a princess cursed to sleep for a hundred years… this did not seem so different. 

Caduceus sighed.

“Thank you,” he mumbled before shaking his head. 

“No luck from the Wildmother?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“Fuck,” Beauregard muttered.

Caleb’s mind began racing, trying and failing to think of a spell that this resembled. This was beyond his level. Hells, it was beyond all of their levels. And if the Wildmother didn’t know…

Well, he wasn’t a man of faith, but there didn’t seem to be any other option. 

He stood, his head facing the sky, eyes closed tightly in fear of… the others' judgement? Being smited down? Nothing? 

“Traveler,” he all but whispered, “Your most faithful is in danger. Do not disappoint her. Please, help us.”

Eyes squeezed closed, he waited for a sign like last time of the sort of god’s arrival.

Nothing. 

“You know you have to let me in, right?”

Caleb opened his eyes to see the ginger fae on the other side of the dome, arms crossed impatiently.

“What the fuck, why-“ Beauregard began, but not before Caleb allowed the Traveler access. 

The Traveler pulled back his hood as he stepped towards Jester, fingers moving rapidly until suddenly, they stopped.

“That bitch,” he muttered.

“Do you… know what’s wrong with her?” Fjord asked awkwardly. 

“Yes,” the Traveler said, “That Isharnai is quite clever. But the cure won’t be too difficult to come by. To wake her, all she needs is true love’s kiss.”

Caleb’s heart sank to his stomach, where it began beating ferociously as his mind began buzzing with thoughts. Of course. The hag fed on misery. And at least two people here were going to be miserable when it turned out that they were not Jester’s love. And Jester herself was going to have to deal with rejecting them, even though she had no choice in the matter.

“Well, she loves you more than anyone,” Caduceus said, gesturing to the Traveler, who shook his head solemnly.

“No, the hag specified that it must be a mortal, clever girl, or else I would. I’m afraid I’ve done all that I can in this matter.” 

He did seem to be sincerely sorry, and Caleb took a little comfort in the knowledge that he really did seem to have Jester’s best interest in heart. 

“Danke,” he mumbled, bowing his head. The Traveler nodded.

“Good luck,” he said, staring directly at him. Caleb would have questioned him, but before he could open his mouth, the Traveler had disappeared. 

“Shit,” Beau muttered.

“Well, at least we know what to do now,” Caduceus said, though he wasn’t smiling.

Silence fell as they all waited for someone to make the first move. After fifty-seconds, Caleb couldn’t take it anymore.

“Fjord, you two are sweet on each other, ja?” he prompted.

Fjord nodded nervously. 

“O-o-okay,” the half-orc stammered before kneeling down beside Jester and kissing her. There was a pause as they all waited for any sign of life.

Nothing.

Fjord nodded, frowning before backing away.

Poor man, Caleb thought, knowing full well that he was no better off than Fjord. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. In theory, there was some minuscule chance that he would turn out to be Jester’s true love. But that would only be worse, because that would mean Jester had had two viable candidates for her love and had still somehow fallen for his miserable ass. 

“Maybe it’s a bond between friends sort of thing?” Veth suggested, placing a quick look kiss on Jester’s cheek.

Nothing. 

Caduceus silently kissed her forehead.

Nothing.

Yasha gently brushed a lock of blue hair back into place before chastely kissing her.

Nothing. 

“I’ll, um, I’ll go next,” Beau mumbled. Placing a hand on Jester’s cheek, Beau kissed her with a softness the monk did not normally let show. 

They had all gone, all but him. Caleb didn’t think he could bear it. He had thought that, surely, one of them would have…

“W-we need to get to Nicodranas,” he said, voice trembling like the hand fishing for chalk in his pocket, “W-it has to be her mother. Who else- I-“

“Mr. Caleb,” Caduceus said, “You should at least try.”

“Why? We know that being a friend is not enough?” Gods, he could feel himself beginning to lose it as he did his best to suppress a panic attack.

“Caleb,” Yasha said firmly. He stared up into her bright, mismatched eyes fuzzy as he realized how close to crying he was. He took a deep, shaky breath. 

“You need to try,” she said, “If we’re going to do this right, you need to try.”

The image of Marion Lavorre’s face as she saw Jester being carried into the Chateau suddenly entered his mind, and he nodded. Feet moving without his mind telling them to, Caleb felt as though he was floating as he made his way to Jester. His heart was beating so loudly he could hear it echoing in his eardrums as he knelt down next to Jester. 

Was it better if she did wake up, or if she didn’t? Caleb wasn’t sure he could handle either option, but took a deep breath, staring down at this woman who had done so much for him. He had to do this for her. 

And so, eyes squeezed shut, Caleb’s lips planted themselves on Jester’s cooler ones. Immediately, some of his tension released. This felt so right, even though he knew that he shouldn’t. Still, he pushed himself up, opening his eyes…

Jester was staring up at him, a confused expression on her face. 

“Caleb?” 

No no no no no no. His mind began racing in five different directions at once and he didn’t know where to begin. All he knew was that it was too much. 

Stumbling backwards, he managed to get up and out of the crater before running ninety feet southeast before two realizations crossed his mind.

He had broken the dome when he had run out. 

He had broken his promise to Jester.

Pulling out the copper wire from his component pouch, Caleb saw that his hands were shaking as he cast his spell. 

“I-I-I am not mad at you, Jester,” he mumbled, “I am sorry.”

****

Caleb walked down the steps into the bar area of the tavern they were staying in, making his way to the bar. He scanned the room full of old drunks and… ah, there she was. 

Beauregard was sitting at a table by herself, a glass of whiskey in hand as she stared out the window. 

“Careful with that one.”

He jumped, turning to see the dragonborn barkeep smirking at him. 

“Was-what?” he mumbled.

“Careful with that one, she’s punched every man who’s bought her a drink in the face.”

On any other day, that might have earned a smile from him. But today… well, today he’d be happy as long as no one saw him crying. 

“Ja, well, I, um… that’s on me,” he mumbled, “Could I have two of your best whiskies?”

He placed a few gold on the bar, and within a minute, he was walking towards Beauregard’s table. He needed to be sensitive and well-spoken if he wanted to actually make things better.

“Drowning your sorrows?” 

She glared at him. Though a stranger would most likely only see anger, Caleb could see the sadness she was trying to hide.

“Fuck you, man,” she mumbled, taking a swig from her own drink that emptied the glass. 

“Would it help if I told you that I also would have preferred it to be you?” he asked, placing the glasses on the table.

She stared at him, and he knew that she was assessing what he had said. And it was true. Beauregard, despite her prickliness, was a wonderful woman. Jester could be happy with her, far happier than with him. Tears threatened to fog up her vision, but she sniffed, pushing them back. He sighed, taking the seat next to her. 

“This fucking sucks,” she mumbled, letting her head rest against his shoulder.

Oh, Beauregard. Perhaps she was the only one who could truly understand how much more Jester deserved, how unworthy he was, how unfair the universe was. 

“Ja,” he agreed, “Ja, it does.”

And they sat there, both stewing in an odd sense of companionship that can only be brought about by being in love with the same person and wishing they had chosen differently.

**Author's Note:**

> So, there it is! I hope you enjoyed it! Please tell me if you did, cuz I need the serotonin.


End file.
